I seem to have abandoned my blog for the last year and a half. The writing process stunted and not useful. But I have returned once again to continue the process of purging and hopefully, gain support and insights along the way.
I have unofficially decided I am not an alcoholic as my last blog post suggests – but rather, at least I am choosing to go down this path of the Adult Child of Alcoholic. I finally pulled my emotional self off the floor long enough to realise a little therapy might go a long way. My therapist instinctively picked up on the dysfunctional family vibes (funny how they do that) and we spend our time trying to release the childhood wounds and traumas – you know when you have them – someone mentions something to trigger x and you’re sent right back to that 4 year old self who is weeping in the corner. The technique we are using is EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) which is tapping on meridians to release emotions as well as rewire the limbic system, if I have that correctly. I have also decided to join online meetings of the ACA in order to share and explore and find ways and systems that actually work in order to change these patterns. Since it is confusing, overwhelming and terrifying, I hope writing/sharing will help. I guess I want it all out there, no more hiding, no more shame, no more denial, no more isolation. The system is based around the 12 Steps (adapted for ACA specifically) so that goes without saying, no drinking.
Here is a modification of the Laundry List – basic characteristics of people who grew up in alcoholic homes (and an amazing blog for ACA), should it be useful. In fact I think anyone who feels they would benefit from this path, why not. I want to grow and love more. And we are not reinventing the wheel here, the literature, steps and support is out there! The end.